Hi There. I am Mindy:
It was a night out with my girlfriends. We were all excited. We dreamed about the fun we would have at the house party we were going to, just a few streets over. The night was full of expectation as we prepared to dance, blow off some steam and of course, get crazy and everything.
None of us ever felt we were at risk or in danger.
We made it to the house party. The place was already jamming! They had a keg of beer and my girl friend and I went up to get some It wasn’t much… just about three quarters full of one of those plastic throwaway cups. We were talking to a number of boys and a few asked us to dance I put my drink down and danced with a few friends. I went back with a good thirst to finish my one glass of beer.
Then, it happened. And, it happened fast! I started feeling very high. This was not a normal small buzz from just a glass of beer. This was something totally different. I felt dizzy and really, really tired. I could not keep my eyes open. My head kept on nodding off. I felt I was if I was in a movie or a dream or something like that. Trying to keep awake was difficult. Someone said I was drunk and should lie down upstairs for a while until it wore off. Someone started to help me upstairs. That was the last thing I remembered.
I don’t remember it, but I was lucky to have one of my girlfriends ride me home in a cab. I am not sure what time it was, but my girlfriend said she lost track of me at the party and heard I had gone upstairs. She said she found me out cold and got me out of there. She knew I didn’t drink that much and was very puzzled.
When I awoke the next morning I felt really, really sick. I was like the flu, only worse. I kept on throwing up and I was so tired all the time. I had hot flashes and the whole experience was just awful.
I kept experiencing vague memories of some boy being in my face. I can’t remember much but I know my clothes didn’t fit right in the morning. I told my mother and she called a few of my friends and their parents. It now sounded like I had been drugged, and possibly raped!
We went to my doctor for an examination and he recommended a pregnancy test. The results were to come back quickly… positive! I had been the victim of a drug induced date rape.
We reported everything to the police immediately. They took the information and filed a report.
I was so angry and mad and I felt violated, robbed, victimized and ruined. I kept on crying because of the major change had come upon me in less than 24 hours. How could this have happened? How could I have known? Who did this to me? How could they be so cruel? How can I find them? How can I make them pay?
Now I am faced with the biggest decision of my life after. At only 18 years old, I have to make a life and death decision. Do I have an abortion? Or, do I have a baby?
Most of my friends say to go ahead and have the abortion. It’s legal, and it solves the problem.
I probably won’t be to find the guy who did this terrible thing to me. How can I turn to anyone to hold up the other end of a two parent family? How I manage in school? My parents know that this is not my fault. But having a baby and having to explain to other family members and friends would be a constant source of anxiety and fear for me.
But deep down inside, however it got there, and by whatever means, I now have a baby growing inside me. That baby didn’t do anything wrong… just like me. Is it fair to kill my baby just like that? I can already feel the love for my baby. I just don’t think I could live with the guilt.
I know my mother would help me and I can develop the parental skills necessary to cope and even become a good mother. But, the social stigma of being an unwed mother is not a happy prospect for me or my family. AND, how can I find a real husband, someone who I can settle down with, if I already have a child?
I’m so confused, depressed and helpless. I need someone to talk this out with. I need someone to help me make a decision. Who can help?